My extensive experiences with tantric yoga, ancient sexuality practices, and contemporary western therapeutic paradigms have exposed me to many 'tricks-of-the-trade' when it comes to coming.
In this article I'll attempt to distill some of this simple but powerful wisdom. Hopefully men seeking to improve their sexual stamina, or even just to educate themselves sexually, can begin to use this as a roadmap for their quest. And a very worthy quest it is too, (speaking as a woman).
If there is one thing I cannot resist it is a man who is dedicated to learning more about his body and sexuality in general.
I know I speak for a lot of other women when I say that the most important quality in a lover is a commitment to improving the quality of his, and his partner's, sexual experiences.
THE TRICKS TO LASTING LONGER
1. Relax and increase your body awareness
There are very many techniques out there to help you relax and be more able to 'feel' your body. As a yoga practitioner I have experience with very many powerful relaxation, meditation and breathing techniques.
Perhaps the simplest one is just paying attention to your breathing during sex. Not controlling it, just noticing it.
Masters and Johnson also developed a technique known as "sensate focus exercises" which I use extensively in my practice as sexual surrogate therapist and sex 'coach'.
2. Focus on pleasure in sex, rather than sexual performance.
Let go of any expectations about the outcome of sex. Going into a sexual experience with a 'plan' robs you of any ability to be open minded.
You cannot learn from sex if you are focused on how it should look.
Instead, notice the pleasure as it is happening. The pleasure will show you what is good. It is the ultimate teacher when it comes to sex.
3. Increase awareness of your sexual arousal.
Again, open your awareness to your feelings of pleasure and pay close attention to your arousal levels. Awareness is the first step to understanding; which is itself a step towards mastery.
Focus on your pleasure during sex, during masturbation, or even the subtle pleasure you experience when a gorgeous woman gets on the bus.
4. Extend your sexual arousal to higher levels.
There are many techniques you can learn to extend your pleasure. As you become more aware of your sexual arousal a natural increase in your arousal level is inevitable.
This will happen because you will become familiar and comfortable with your pleasure, and your body will propel you to greater heights naturally.
Be sure to practice sex and pleasure often, so your body can keep teaching you.
5. Master your sexual arousal consistently at higher levels.
As your sexual pleasure naturally increases with more practice, you will begin to 'play' with it.
Manipulate your breathing patterns, sexual energy field and subtle internal sensations, to the point that you can begin to feel mastery over them.
Again, ancient wisdom, sex manuals and other people's experiences are full of eye opening possibilities.
6. Become accustomed to a steady level of intense arousal.
Get into the habit of building your sexual pleasure and indulging in it fully. Let the moments you feel pleasure expand.
Let the arousal continue as if it didn't need to end ever. It will of course, but you don't care when ... just let it happen.
7. Stop thinking
Drop your conscious mind out of the picture. Investigate or experiment with techniques to get your internal dialogue to shut up.
Experience all of this intense and joyous pleasure, not in your head, not by thinking about it ... but in your body. Feel it!
THE KEY is connecting more deeply to your own sensations and feelings.
Here's a bonus tricky tip for you. It's also the most important one.
8. Remember your own commitment to learn and grow.. . it all comes back to you.
By the way, if some of these tricks seem to be a bit of a tease it's because they are. Each one could be the subject of several very in depth articles or sexuality workshops.
I want you to take the time to ponder these tricks and look further. I wish you well on your adventures and I wish you very much pleasure.
Copyright 2005 Mukee Okan
Mukee Okan is a world renowned sexual therapist and spiritual guide. She is based in Phoenix and keeps herself busy running workshops and sessions in Europe, North America, Asia, Australia and New Zealand.
Visit http://www.erectilejaculation.com to download free audio files or purchase her e-book on overcoming premature ejaculation.
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Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects the lives of many middle-aged men and their partners. The term erectile dysfunction covers a range of disorders, but usually refers to the inability to obtain an adequate erection for satisfactory sexual activity.
Although erectile dysfunction, formerly called impotence, is more common in men older than 65, it can occur at any age. An occasional episode of erectile dysfunction happens to most men and is normal. As men age, it's also normal to experience changes in erectile function. Erections may take longer to develop, may not be as rigid or may require more direct stimulation to be achieved. Men may also notice that orgasms are less intense, the volume of ejaculate is reduced and recovery time increases between erections. Erectile dysfunction may also be a sign of a physical or emotional problem that requires treatment.
Erectile dysfunction was once a taboo subject, but more men are seeking help. Doctors are gaining a better understanding of what causes erectile dysfunction and are finding new and better treatments.
This Website discusses all about erectile dysfunction, physiology of the normal erection and the pathophysiology, and treatment of ED.
What is Erectile Dysfunction?
Erectile dysfunction or impotence is a sexual dysfunction characterized by the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis for satisfactory sexual intercourse regardless of the capability of ejaculation. There are various underlying causes, such as diabetes, many of which are medically reversible.
The causes may be physiological or psychological. Psychological impotence can often be helped by almost anything that the patient believes in; there is a very strong placebo effect.
Due to its embarrassing nature and the shame felt by sufferers, the subject was taboo for a long time, and is the subject of many urban legends. Folk remedies have long been advocated, with some being advertised widely since the 1930s. The introduction of perhaps the first pharmacologically effective remedy for impotence, sildenafil (trade name Viagra), in the 1990s caused a wave of public attention, propelled in part by the news-worthiness of stories about it and heavy advertising.
The Latin term impotentia coeundi describes simple inability to insert the penis into the vagina. It is now mostly replaced by more precise terms.
Signs and symptoms:
Erectile dysfunction is characterized by the inability to maintain erection. Normal erections during sleep and in the early morning suggest a psychogenic cause, while loss of these erections may signify underlying disease, often cardiovascular in origin. Other things leading to erectile dysfunction are diabetes mellitus (causing neuropathy) or hypogonadism (decreased testosterone levels due to disease affecting the testicles or the pituitary gland).
Here are some causes of Erectile Dysfunction:
* Arousal: The first step is sexual arousal, which men obtain from the senses of sight, touch, hearing and smell, and from thoughts.
* Nervous system response: The brain communicates the sexual excitation to the body's nervous system, which activates increased blood flow to the penis.
* Blood vessel response:. A relaxing action occurs in the blood vessels that supply the penis, allowing more blood to flow into the shafts that produce the erection.
Physiology of normal erections:
Penile erections involve an integration of complex physiologic processes involving the CNS, peripheral nervous system, and hormonal and vascular systems. Any abnormality involving these systems, whether from medication or disease, has a significant impact on the ability to develop and sustain an erection, ejaculate, and experience orgasm. Tumescence, the vascular filling of the cavernous bodies, relies on neural and hormonal mechanisms operating at various levels of the neural axis. This is unique among visceral functions because it requires central neurological input.
Andersson et al summarized some of the information related to the pathways involved in erectile function. The degree of contraction of corpus cavernosal smooth muscle determines the functional state of the penis. The balance between contraction and relaxation is controlled by central and peripheral factors that involve many transmitters and transmitter systems. At the cellular level, smooth muscle relaxation occurs following the release of acetylcholine from the parasympathetic nerves.
Pathophysiology of erectile dysfunction:
Erectile Dysfunction is essentially a vascular disease. It is often associated with other vascular diseases and conditions such as diabetes, hypertension, and coronary artery disease. Other conditions associated with Erectile Dysfunction include neurologic disorders, endocrinopathies, benign prostatic hyperplasia, and depression. Conditions associated with reduced nerve and endothelium function, such as aging, hypertension, smoking, hypercholesterolemia, and diabetes, alter the balance between contraction and relaxation factors. These conditions cause circulatory and structural changes in penile tissues, resulting in arterial insufficiency and defective smooth muscle relaxation. In some patients, sexual dysfunction may be the presenting symptom of these disorders.
Treatment:
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